"Is it God' grace? or is it actually my own hardwork?"

Yesterday evening, Rev. Budy asked us, the congregation, to have an honest look into ourselves and ponder upon the above question. He asked whether this question has crossed our minds before, and whether we know the seriousness of the fact that we are even asking such question. I can't help but nod in agreement.

Because I know this question so well - I've heard it so many times in my head. And as much as I would like to deny it, I cannot lie to myself that this is a clear proof that my faith wavers and staggers at times. Badly.

Of course then I always say to myself that I'm not the only one, aren't I? I mean, I'm sure many others have found that it is hard to stay true to faith, clinging strong on it, when trying times come, right? Truly isn't it hypocritical to say "oh the loss of my dearly beloved father is nothing to me; God gives and God takes away, right? Then God will take care of me" without the slightest tug to the strings of faith in our heart, causing us to wonder whether we will truly have a bright future of hope without having him around us along the road? I say it is only natural to doubt His love and grace at these kind of times! And it is rightly so.

But then again, it's not too hard to immidiately see two things, which is that:
1.) this kind of doubting is of a different kind to the kind of doubting that is being addressed by the original question by Rev. Budy above, and
2.) often, as it has been repeatedly confirmed by so many people, this kind of doubting leads to an even greater faith, greater testimony of it, and hence greater glory to God. And I fear that this great thing is the complete opposite to the effect of the below doubt,

which I'll call 'prideful doubt'.

Contrary to 'painful doubt' (I can't think of a better name for the doubting that arises from the previous scenario) above, 'prideful doubt' will not only shake our faith, it may actually kill it altogether.
Prideful doubt comes not in the times of sadness, loss, or any other pain. It does not come with apparent, obvious evil. Instead, it usually comes slithering behind or alongside apparent, obvious good - which often are good in themselves!

Now, before I go any further, do yourself a favour. Everytime something good happens to you, be extremely careful. As hard as it may be, always remember to kneel down and pray after every good thing that comes into your life. That'll not only keep you safe from the snares of The Serpent, but by God's grace, repel it altogether. Or else...

Help, LORD, for the godly man ceases to be,
For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.
They speak falsehood to one another;
With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak.
May the LORD cut off all flattering lips,
The tongue that speaks great things;
Who have said, "With our tongue we will prevail;
Our lips are our own; who is lord over us?"

(Psalms 12:1-4)

Till next time.