Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
See you in heaven, uncle. Will miss you so much.
It was just another morning at the office. I was late today. Arrived at 9.35 am. Missed the previous bus because I decided to add another hour to my sleep.
Everything was good actually... Debbie nudged me in messenger, pretended to be mom until she blew her cover when she said "I had a dream about you last night, son" - and that dream being me got swallowed by a hippopotamus.
I threw a couple of jokes before she suddenly replied, with all caps, something like this:
...
5/06/2007 10:09:55 AM Billy [@HP]: pesek belajar yang bener ya KAMU
5/06/2007 10:09:57 AM Billy [@HP]: KAMUUUUU
5/06/2007 10:10:00 AM Billy [@HP]: kamu tu pesek
5/06/2007 10:10:11 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): KLOKO
5/06/2007 10:10:13 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): koko!!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:13 AM Billy [@HP]: masi pesek aja mikirin married2
5/06/2007 10:10:18 AM Billy [@HP]: pesek
5/06/2007 10:10:17 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): OM AY MEINGGAL!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:20 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): KO!!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:23 AM Billy [@HP]: ha
5/06/2007 10:10:24 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): OM AY MENINGGAL!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:26 AM Billy [@HP]: ??
5/06/2007 10:10:32 AM Billy [@HP]: ha?
5/06/2007 10:10:47 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): DITABRAK M,OBIL
5/06/2007 10:10:54 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): TELPON KESINI SKRG!!!
...
Just like that... just-like- that...
And so I ran out of the office, and made a phone call to her using my mobile. Instead I reached mom and asked what happened, and she confirmed that it was true... I just couldn't believe it... as much as I try to... just couldn't believe it...
Afterwards, I tried calling tante Anneke... no luck... tried calling cici Nonik... no one picked up as well...
I was bewildered... really don't know what to think... there's a big report that is needed by other departments that is due this Thursday - 3 days from now - and I am at a loss to what I should do with it... heck, I even don't know whether I should stay or leave to Indonesia at once...
I felt like screaming... felt like wanna do something stupid... felt like, if I could, punch down a tree or sorts... well I did... kicked a twig... that helped a bit...
And then I asked myself -and in vain, tried to ask the skies - "what do I do now??"... the million dollar question...
It was then when I heard a voice telling me to go back inside and do my work. For it was their (uncle, and dad's) portion to do theirs for as long as they were still inside this fading flesh and blood, and they have finished it. I went back inside, trying to pull myself back together and start doing things I have to do.
Just as I got back in to the office, I saw Debbie had msn-ed me again. Hence, I went back out and called her.
I could hear her delirious voice. I expected that.
I tried to console her... I told her to not worry too much about the person leaving, but about us who are still here... but then her question that really got me was:
"who will walk me down the aisle?"
about that... I don't know sis... really don't know :(
At that point too many things got hold of my head and I could not think properly... let alone say things correctly...
Thank God for Mom.
As always, she said the right things at the right moment: "It's a loss... I know... but remember: let us not be like those that have, or know, no God. We have hope that we will soon see them again. For we know that they are not - never - far from us. And they will always be near to us, in our heart and mind."
...As corny as this may sound, this cliche has become a truth so sweet and profound - the exact encouragement I needed.
She finished with this sentence:
"Now you go and do your work. Do it properly, whole-heartedly, and strive to serve your best. That is what makes your father and your uncle proud."
"... and God", I think to myself. God will be proud as well.
So I took a deep breath, and went back in, again.
They have finished their race. And they have finished it well. Mine is still in front of me. Before me was my father and my uncle. Now it's me and my brothers.
"God Almighty, I pray that You show me the same Power and Glory you have showed to those great men before me. As you have shaped them, broken them, repaired them, and made them more like the image of Jesus Christ, Your Son each and everyday; do the same to me. I long to know you more and more each day, each step that I take. I have faith in You and Your guidance, Your providence, and Your perfect wisdom - Your Love. Be with us in every day of our life as you have been with dad and oom Ay for as long as they have lived. Only in the name of Jesus, we have prayed. Amen"
Everything was good actually... Debbie nudged me in messenger, pretended to be mom until she blew her cover when she said "I had a dream about you last night, son" - and that dream being me got swallowed by a hippopotamus.
I threw a couple of jokes before she suddenly replied, with all caps, something like this:
...
5/06/2007 10:09:55 AM Billy [@HP]: pesek belajar yang bener ya KAMU
5/06/2007 10:09:57 AM Billy [@HP]: KAMUUUUU
5/06/2007 10:10:00 AM Billy [@HP]: kamu tu pesek
5/06/2007 10:10:11 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): KLOKO
5/06/2007 10:10:13 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): koko!!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:13 AM Billy [@HP]: masi pesek aja mikirin married2
5/06/2007 10:10:18 AM Billy [@HP]: pesek
5/06/2007 10:10:17 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): OM AY MEINGGAL!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:20 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): KO!!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:23 AM Billy [@HP]: ha
5/06/2007 10:10:24 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): OM AY MENINGGAL!!!
5/06/2007 10:10:26 AM Billy [@HP]: ??
5/06/2007 10:10:32 AM Billy [@HP]: ha?
5/06/2007 10:10:47 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): DITABRAK M,OBIL
5/06/2007 10:10:54 AM *unicef a bon vivant (H): TELPON KESINI SKRG!!!
...
Just like that... just-like- that...
And so I ran out of the office, and made a phone call to her using my mobile. Instead I reached mom and asked what happened, and she confirmed that it was true... I just couldn't believe it... as much as I try to... just couldn't believe it...
Afterwards, I tried calling tante Anneke... no luck... tried calling cici Nonik... no one picked up as well...
I was bewildered... really don't know what to think... there's a big report that is needed by other departments that is due this Thursday - 3 days from now - and I am at a loss to what I should do with it... heck, I even don't know whether I should stay or leave to Indonesia at once...
I felt like screaming... felt like wanna do something stupid... felt like, if I could, punch down a tree or sorts... well I did... kicked a twig... that helped a bit...
And then I asked myself -and in vain, tried to ask the skies - "what do I do now??"... the million dollar question...
It was then when I heard a voice telling me to go back inside and do my work. For it was their (uncle, and dad's) portion to do theirs for as long as they were still inside this fading flesh and blood, and they have finished it. I went back inside, trying to pull myself back together and start doing things I have to do.
Just as I got back in to the office, I saw Debbie had msn-ed me again. Hence, I went back out and called her.
I could hear her delirious voice. I expected that.
I tried to console her... I told her to not worry too much about the person leaving, but about us who are still here... but then her question that really got me was:
"who will walk me down the aisle?"
about that... I don't know sis... really don't know :(
At that point too many things got hold of my head and I could not think properly... let alone say things correctly...
Thank God for Mom.
As always, she said the right things at the right moment: "It's a loss... I know... but remember: let us not be like those that have, or know, no God. We have hope that we will soon see them again. For we know that they are not - never - far from us. And they will always be near to us, in our heart and mind."
...As corny as this may sound, this cliche has become a truth so sweet and profound - the exact encouragement I needed.
She finished with this sentence:
"Now you go and do your work. Do it properly, whole-heartedly, and strive to serve your best. That is what makes your father and your uncle proud."
"... and God", I think to myself. God will be proud as well.
So I took a deep breath, and went back in, again.
They have finished their race. And they have finished it well. Mine is still in front of me. Before me was my father and my uncle. Now it's me and my brothers.
"God Almighty, I pray that You show me the same Power and Glory you have showed to those great men before me. As you have shaped them, broken them, repaired them, and made them more like the image of Jesus Christ, Your Son each and everyday; do the same to me. I long to know you more and more each day, each step that I take. I have faith in You and Your guidance, Your providence, and Your perfect wisdom - Your Love. Be with us in every day of our life as you have been with dad and oom Ay for as long as they have lived. Only in the name of Jesus, we have prayed. Amen"
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